Past Hauntings
by Chance
Summary: Terrorists bring back some painful memories for Lucas. non "steps" universe.


Disclaimer: Don't own them. I never have and I would _never_even think of claiming ownership of the third season.. ::shudders:: Not making any money from this at all. 

Rated: R for disturbing content/violence

Author Notes: Many thanks for this one -g-. Cara who just basically harassed me most of the writing process. AT and Mel who beta'd it (and gave me some fantastic suggestions!) JJ for editing this (you saved my life, I hate editing! -g-) and of course to ELFy (who will hurt me if I don't mention him ) and to my honorary muse Sheri for being a-"muse"-ing. (Yes, bad pun. I give you permission to hurt me -g-)

Anyway, I'm done now -g-

* * *

Sun glinted off the asphalt in waves of heat as the door of a vehicle opened and a middle aged man stepped out and set his feet on the ground. He stepped away and glanced into the back of the cab. He looked mildly frustrated and raised his eyes heavenward before returning his attention to the occupant of the back seat.

"Lucas, come on. I know you don't want to be here, but there's nothing you can do about it. So will you come on?" Nathan Bridger said, exasperated, to his young charge. Fifteen-year-old Lucas Wolenczak rolled his eyes, but slid over and climbed out of the cab. He grimaced as the heat hit him, but simply put his sunglasses on and grabbed the duffel bag Nathan handed him. They walked toward the hotel that seemed to rise from the wavering heat like an oasis in the desert.

"I still don't see why I need to be here." Lucas said to Nathan, almost whining. "Why did I have to come to this stupid conference anyway?" Nathan sighed and closed his eyes briefly, gathering his strength. They'd been having this conversation for almost a week now.

"I told you. While you're on the seaQuest, I'm in charge of you. I wasn't about to leave you alone on the boat for a week while we all attended the conference." The senior crew of the seaQuest had been ordered to attend a "world conference" as a show of strength by the UEO. None of them were happy about it. Nathan thought he'd heard Ben Krieg mumbling something about bureaucracy and "military intelligence" being an oxymoron. Surprisingly, he thought he'd heard Jonathan Ford, the exceedingly military commander of the seaQuest (and extremely military) agreeing with Krieg.

"Why couldn't you?" Lucas asked, breaking Nathan out of his reverie. Nathan looked at the boy, confused, until Lucas rolled his eyes. "Why couldn't you leave me on the seaQuest?" he repeated, slowly as if to a child. Nathan blinked and reconnected to their conversation.

"For the very simple reason that you're only fifteen. Lucas, it isn't that I don't trust you. I just didn't feel right leaving you on the seaQuest by yourself. Besides," he said, looking sideways at the boy, "If I'm going to have to suffer through this, then so are you." Lucas glared at Nathan from behind his dark glasses and kept walking toward the hotel. Nathan hurried to catch up.

"Look at it this way, Lucas. At least you won't have to attend as much of the conference as the rest of us will." Lucas suddenly stopped and looked at the captain with horror.

"What do you mean: 'as much of the conference'? I thought you brought me along because you didn't want to leave me alone. You never said anything about me attending any of the conference!" Nathan grinned at the seething teenager.

"Oh, I didn't?" He asked innocently. Lucas glared at him.

"No. You didn't," he answered flatly.

"Well, I thought you might be interested in some of the more scientific aspects of the conference. They're having a number of discussions about oceanography, geology.....even computer science." Lucas perked up a little at the last words, but fought to keep from showing his interest to Nathan.

"Do I have a choice?" Lucas asked snidely. Nathan studied him for a moment. He hadn't missed the spark of interest, and he decided to pull rank to "force" the boy to give in without losing face.

"I don't think so. You can come and keep us company when those talks are going on. The rest of the time," he began, trying to appease the boy, "you can swim in the pool and do whatever you want. Within reason," he added when Lucas grinned mischievously. 

They finally reached the doors of the hotel and stepped inside, the air cooling immediately as the air conditioning fought the heat. They found themselves in a spacious lobby, the ceiling rising majestically over their heads until it peaked into a glass dome that let the bright Hawaiian sun stream in. Bright, tropical plants adorned almost every free space in the lobby, the wild colors rioting with each other in a mad, yet somehow pleasing display. A fountain, made to look like a natural waterfall, stood in the center of the lobby, the sound of the water splashing a pleasant noise in the background.

Most of the people in the lobby were dressed in shorts and shirts, people obviously enjoying their vacations. The UEO people were very easy to spot, most of them still in uniform while they waited to check in. The staff of the hotel were dressed in khaki shorts and bright Hawaiian shirts, the name tags on the left breast pockets clearly designating them as staff. Nathan looked around the crowded lobby, searching until he finally spotted the other delegates from the seaQuest. He led Lucas over to where they were waiting in the line, only a few people from the check-in desk.

"Sorry we're so late." He said to the crew. "Our cabby decided to give us a "tour" of part of the island. At least that's what he said. I think he just got lost." Ben Krieg laughed softly in the background, stopping only when Bridger flashed him a look. Dr. Kristin Westphalen glanced at Lucas, taking in his obvious mood.

"So, Lucas. How does it feel to be upworld for once?" She asked trying to get the boy to open up. Lucas grunted non-committally and turned away from the group, clearly trying to shut them out. Nathan shrugged at them, silently telling them to wait it out. They nodded back at him, used to Lucas' moods.

The line inched forward slowly, until finally the seaQuest group was at the front of it. Nathan and Kristin stepped forward to check everybody in, while the, including Lucas, walked over to wait by the fountain. 

"Uh-oh," Ortiz said softly. The others looked at him. "They don't look too happy," he said, pointing at Nathan and Kristin as they wound their way through the throng of people. Kristin's face was set in a harsh scowl and Nathan's body language was stiff and unyielding, a clear sign they were agitated.

"Of all the stupid-" Kristin stopped muttering when they reached the others. Nathan cleared his throat and broke the news to the crew.

"Apparently," he started, "since the hotel is so full right now, the UEO 'volunteered' us to lose a few rooms. They reserved four rooms for us, instead of nine." He paused as Ortiz, O'Neill, and Krieg groaned. The others stood there stoically, used to the "intelligence" of the military. Nathan looked at Lucas, trying to judge his reaction, but Lucas was staring at the fountain, apparently oblivious to what was going on around him, Nathan went on.

"One of the rooms is a suite, which means three beds basically. I was figuring that Crocker, Ford and Krieg could share that one." Crocker and Ford grinned at each other, neither one failing to notice Krieg's groan at the news.

'Maybe this won't be so bad after all,' Ford thought.

"If it's all right with you," Kristin said to Katie, "you and I can share one of the other rooms." Katie nodded, smiling at the doctor to show that she wasn't the least bit put upon by the news.

"Ortiz and O'Neill can have the other room?" Nathan asked. The pair nodded at him, used to having to share rooms with each other. Nathan looked at Lucas, but the boy was still zoning. "That leaves you and me Lucas," Nathan said loudly, breaking through the boy's reverie. Lucas jumped and glanced around hurriedly, before his cool demeanor returned. Nathan held in a laugh, knowing it wouldn't help the situation at all. 

He explained it again for Lucas' benefit, and at the end, all the boy did was nod, too tired and angry to put up much of a fight. Nathan handed out the room keys, and they separated, planning to meet for dinner in a few hours.

* * *

Nathan led the way into their room and looked around. It was on the smallish side, with two double beds, two dressers, and a nightstand. A small bathroom was off to the right of the door, and Nathan could see that it was one of those bathrooms that only had a shower, a toilet, and a sink. No bathtub. 

He grimaced slightly and walked over to open the curtains of the room's sliding glass doors. For a supposed four star hotel, their room was sadly lacking in a lot of the amenities. However, the view more than made up for the lack of space.

He opened the door and let himself out onto the balcony. His eyes swept over the wide blue ocean and seemingly endless clear sky. The sands on the beach were a bright white, just begging to be laid on, and apparently, hundreds of people had answered the call. They were spread out all over the beach, the vivid colors of their bathing suits clashing with each other, and standing out against the white sand.

Nathan looked down and saw a family, complete with a mother, father, and three kids, staked out on the beach below. The three little girls had buried their dad up to his neck with sand while he was asleep. and now he couldn't figure out how to get out of it. The mother sat close by, laughing hysterically, while the girls sat on their dad's chest, making it even harder to escape. Nathan laughed and looked over his shoulder.

"Hey Lucas, you have to see this!" he called back into the room. He waited a moment, and when he didn't receive an answer, he went back inside to see what Lucas was doing.

The boy was sitting on one of the beds, rubbing his wrist absently, and staring off into space. Nathan walked over quietly and sat down beside him. 

"Lucas," he said gently, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder. Lucas jumped and looked over at him, as if trying to remember who he was. "You okay? You were off in your own world there for a while," Nathan said lightly, trying to draw the boy out. Lucas just looked down at his hands and sighed. Nathan followed his gaze, and saw that Lucas' hands were grasping each other so tightly that the knuckles were turning white. 

He raised his eyebrows in surprise, not knowing what was bothering the boy, but wanting to help. He reached over and put his hand over both of Lucas'. Lucas looked up at him, and Nathan was surprised to see a bit of fear in his eyes. Gently, he pried the hands apart and placed them on the bed on either side of the boy.

"What's wrong, Lucas?" he asked again. Lucas sighed and looked down, clenching the bedspread in his hands.

"Nothing. I'm fine," he answered dully, looking everywhere but at Nathan. Nathan reached over and forced Lucas to look at him.

"You don't really expect me to believe that do you?" Lucas pulled away from him and walked across the room until he was staring out the window, his back to Nathan. "C'mon Lucas. You've been like this for a while...and I think I know why." 

Lucas whirled around to look at him, shock coloring his face. He quickly tried to compose his features, but not before Nathan could see the fear in his eyes again.

"You've been like this ever since Schrader boarded the seaQuest. I let you get by without the counseling, but only because you said you would talk to someone about it. As far as I know, you haven't done it yet. So, I want you to talk to me. Now." He looked at the boy calmly, waiting for his objections. Lucas hid his relief behind his "mask" and went to sit down next to Nathan, knowing the Captain wasn't going to drop this until he said something. 

He started to talk slowly, trying to sort through his jumbled emotions concerning the boarding of the seaQuest by Colonel Schrader and his group of commandos. He'd been afraid, very afraid, but at the same time he'd been angry at the men. Pissed beyond words that these men had the unmitigated gall to come in and disturb his home. 

Lucas had been terrified hiding under the deck grating, as terrorist after terrorist pounded over him. Knowing that any sound on his part could give away his hiding place. Then later, as he'd been hiding in his room and the man had walked in, taking him forcefully to the bridge. He'd been very afraid, especially when he'd heard the gunfire behind him. For a moment there, he had thought that the gun had been aimed at him. Lucas had flinched everytime the gun had gone off, each bullet chipping away at him, until he felt like there was nothing left. 

As he tried to voice this to Bridger, he was careful to hide the relief in his voice, glad that the Captain hadn't realized that something even more serious was bothering him.

Nathan sat and listened quietly, doing his best not to interrupt the boy as he voiced his anger over the whole incident. He'd been right, Lucas was still bothered by the attack, and he hadn't talked to anyone. At least one good thing would come out of this conference.

* * *

They met the rest of the crew downstairs for dinner an hour later, Lucas feeling a little more unburdened, and Nathan was just happy that he'd finally gotten the boy to talk about it.

They reached the dining room and looked around for the rest of the crew, standing on tiptoe to see if they could spot them in the crowd. Finally, Lucas spotted them at a table by one of the large windows that overlooked the beach, and they started over to them.

When they reached the table, they were greeted with the sight of Ben and Crocker glaring at each other across the table, and Katie rolling her eyes at their immature behavior.

Nathan pulled out a chair and sat down, never taking his eyes off the two men as they glared at each other. Lucas looked questioningly at Ortiz and O'Neill.

"What's going on?" he asked softly. O'Neill rolled his eyes in an imitation of Katie and just shook his head. Ortiz tried to control the laughter threatening to erupt. He smiled and looked sideways at Lucas, not wanting to take his eyes off the spectacle in front of him

"Apparently, Ben and the Chief had a little "disagreement" over who got what bed, and I guess it just went on from there. By the time they got down here, they were almost yelling at each other. If Dr. Westphalen hadn't have told them to "shut up," they'd probably still be yelling. They've been like that," he said, gesturing at the two glaring men, "for about ten minutes now." Lucas snorted softly, and turned his attention back on Ben and Crocker, his earlier conversation with Nathan completely forgotten.

Nathan cleared his throat to get the two men's attention. Giving them a "parental" look he said softly: "Do I have to separate you two?" Kristin's mouth twitched at this, but she managed to keep her impassive demeanor intact. Crocker glanced over at Nathan shame wiping the color from his cheeks.

"No Cap," he said, chagrined. Nathan looked at Ben, who was still shooting daggers at Crocker.

"Lieutenant?" Ben glanced over and saw the impatience in the Captain's eyes. Gulping, he managed to mumble a "No sir", before looking down at the table. Nodding, Nathan turned his attention to the rest of the crew. "Good, now, let's try to have a peaceful meal. Okay?" A bunch of "Yes Sir's" and Yes Captain's" answered and they started to examine the menus that had been waiting at the table for them.

Lucas grinned as he remembered the look on Ben's face when he realized that the Captain was looking at him. Maybe the conference wouldn't be a complete bore after all.

* * *

Nathan yawned wearily and flicked off the TV in their hotel room. Glancing over, he saw Lucas sprawled out on top of the covers in shorts and a T-shirt, completely oblivious to the world. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he turned over in his sleep, rolling onto his stomach. Nathan smiled at the sight and got up to open the sliding door. A small breeze wafted into the stifling room, but did little to alleviate the oppressive heat.

Nathan stretched out on his bed, taking Lucas' cue and not getting under the covers. He felt the sweat roll down his body and soak into the bedspread. He'd known Hawaii was hot, but after being used to the seaQuest's climate controlled environment, it was a bit of a shock to be confronted by weather like this, and to make matters worse, the desk attendant had informed him that Hawaii was experiencing even warmer tempuratures then usual. Nathan closed his eyes and tried to put all thoughts of the conference tomorrow out of his head. He hadn't been kidding when he'd told Lucas that they'd "suffer through it together". This was the last place he wanted to be!

Resolutely, he rolled over onto his side and closed his eyes, determined to get at least half a night's sleep. He was almost there when a soft cry wafted over from Lucas' side of the room. Slowly, he lifted himself up on one elbow and peered into the darkness trying to make out Lucas' form.

The boy rolled over slightly, and another soft whimper escaped his lips. Nathan saw his face tighten and his body cringe from whatever nightmare he was having.

"N...no, please....don't!..." Nathan saw a tear escape from under one of Lucas' eyelids and he was up in a flash. Turning on the light between the beds, he hurriedly sat down next to Lucas and started to shake him gently.

"Lucas. Lucas, wake up!" he said loudly, hoping to jar the boy from his sleep. Lucas moaned and thrashed away from Nathan, pushing himself to the other side of the bed. His eyes were clamped tightly shut, and more tears made their way down his cheeks. He whimpered again, and Nathan redoubled his efforts to wake him up....

_ "....swat team opening fire.... body jerking with every impact as a bullet hit....dead eyes, staring at him..." _

Lucas grimaced in his sleep, as image after image swam before his eyes, rolling into each other until they became a continuous litany of blood, horror, and pain. He let out a piercing scream as the last image hit him. The lifeless eyes...staring.... He felt himself being shaken and heard a voice calling him as if from a great distance. Gratefully, he latched onto the voice and followed it up, out of the darkness.

Opening his eyes, he looked up and saw Nathan hovering over him, concern written clearly on his face. He felt Nathan's grip on his arms lessen as the older man sat back a little, giving him his space.

"Are you okay Lucas?" Nathan asked, concerned. Lucas looked at him with bleary eyes, and Nathan could still read the lingering terror in them. Lucas sat up slowly and slid back until he made contact with the wall. He sighed as he felt the comfort of having something solid against his back.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said predictably. His eyes wandered everywhere, looking at the ceiling, the windows, his hands, anywhere but at Nathan who finally reached forward and put his hand under Lucas' chin, forcing the boy to look at him.

"Please Lucas, I only want to help. Can you tell me what the nightmare was about?" Lucas closed his eyes in a last ditch effort to escape. Slowly, he shook his head and Nathan sighed. When Lucas put his mind to it, he could be incredibly stubborn about things, and this was one of those times. Nathan looked around, trying to decide what to do. His eyes came to the open sliding glass doors and lit up. Maybe Lucas wouldn't tell him what was wrong, but he could at least try to calm the boy down.

Standing , he pulled Lucas from the bed and walked over to the doors. Lucas was pulled along by Nathan's hand on his arm and led out onto the balcony. A cool breeze wafting off the ocean brushed his face and he felt himself relax a little bit, glad to be out of the stifling room for a while.

He glanced over and watched as Nathan leaned against the railing, looking out onto the ocean. Nathan didn't say a word, simply letting the view and the breeze do their work. Lucas slowly walked over and leaned against the railing next to Nathan, also just gazing silently at the ocean.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Nathan said quietly. Lucas nodded, looking out onto the dark ocean. The moon wasn't out, but the stars shone down with enough light to illuminate the waves as they crashed against the beach. The sand glowed dully in the diffused light, looking ethereal, almost ghostly. The palm trees situated around the pavilion of the hotel swayed in the gentle breeze, the sounds of rustling fronds barely reaching their ears.

The quiet of the night and the peacefulness of the view continued to work their magic on Lucas, and soon the boy was yawning as the day's travel and the exhaustion of his nightmare caught up to him. Nathan glanced sideways at him as yet another yawn stretched his features, and he smiled. Pushing away from the railing, Nathan led Lucas back into the room, and made him lie down on the bed.

"I'll be right back," Nathan said as he started to walk out of the room. Lucas sat up abruptly, all fatigue erased from his features. Nathan saw the fear return to his features and rushed to reassure the boy. "I'm just going to get you something that always used to make me sleep. I'll be back in two minutes, all right?" Lucas nodded slowly, not wanting to show that he needed something, even if it was just the captain's presence. 

Nathan quickly left and almost raced down to the kitchen. Fortunately, the hotel had twenty-four hour kitchen service. Unfortunately, room service was unavailable after eight o'clock, otherwise Nathan wouldn't have had to leave at all. He reached the kitchen and hurriedly placed his order, getting a strange look from the chef. Something hot on a night like this? He just shook his head at the "crazy" tourist and filled the order, handing Nathan 

the hot cup.

Nathan hurried back up to the room, almost spilling the hot drink on himself in his haste. Opening the door, he stepped in and glanced over at Lucas. He smiled when he saw the boy stretched out on the bed, completely asleep, his chest rising and falling with deep even breaths. Nathan put the hot cup on the table between the beds and sat down by Lucas, pushing the boy's hair back from his sweaty forehead.

"I wish I knew what scared you like that kiddo. I really do," Nathan whispered worriedly. He sighed and stood up, walking over to lie down on his own bed. He turned off the light and closed his eyes. Suddenly he chuckled, almost asleep. He'd confused the chef for nothing....hot chocolate on a hot night, and Lucas wouldn't even be able to drink it.

Nathan fell asleep with a smile on his face.

* * *

The next morning dawned clear and hot, making the heat of the night before look reasonable in comparison. Lucas and Nathan woke up late and had to hustle to meet the others for breakfast. They arrived, sweaty and breathless to meet a scene that was almost a carbon copy of dinner the night before. 

Krieg and Crocker were again sitting at opposite ends of the table glaring at each other. The others were either laughing or trying their best to look stern...while holding in their laughter. Nathan and Lucas quickly sat down, Lucas openly grinning at the scene, while Nathan tried, without much success, to hide his smile. Lucas looked over at Ortiz and O'Neill, eyebrow raised in a question. Ortiz leaned over to him, across O'Neill (who was one of the ones trying to appear unamused, and failing) and whispered to Lucas.

"Apparently Ben got a call in the middle of the night and the Chief didn't like it. Then Ben accused Crocker of snoring, and it's just been going on like that. Been at it for almost twenty minutes now." Ortiz laughed softly as Nathan cleared his throat.

"I see that you two had a restful night," he remarked, winking sideways at Lucas. Lucas laughed and tried to cover it up with a cough, drawing Ben's glare. "I trust that you'll be able to "make peace" before the conference starts?" Crocker glanced over at the captain and nodded. Ben followed suit soon afterwards when he felt the captain's eyes on him. "Good. Now, what's on the agenda today Commander?"

Ford quickly wiped his hands off and picked up a dossier listing all of the day's events. 

"After breakfast, we have a seminar on command skills and then after that, we go to another one about diplomacy and getting along with other countries. Then we break and meet for lunch. After that, we get into the more scientific aspects of the conference." He put the paper down and took a bite of the fruit salad in front of him.

"That's when you get to come," Nathan said looking at Lucas. Lucas rolled his eyes.

"How fun," he answered sarcastically. Nathan smiled at him patiently until Lucas had the good grace to look down at the table.

"As I was saying," Nathan started, "until then, you're free to go wherever you want. Within reason," he added when he saw the glint in the teenager's eye. Lucas rolled his eyes again, but nodded in agreement. "Good. Now...let's eat."

* * *

The morning had gone by remarkably smoothly, especially since Nathan made sure to keep Krieg and Crocker as far apart as possible. At lunch they met up with Lucas who said he'd been "around" and wouldn't reveal anything further about his morning.

They filed into the large auditorium hosting the conference and took seats near the front of the "floor". Nathan made sure to sit next to Lucas in order to keep him on track, a hard thing to do with Ben sitting on the boy's other side. 

Lucas glanced around him, checking out the room. It arched to a dome made mostly of glass high over head, the sun beating down in waves, almost too much for the air conditioning to combat. Bright flowers and tall plants ringed the sides of the room, lining almost every wall, with doors breaking set in at intervals. The auditorium was in the middle of the hotel, and blocked in on all four sides. There were no windows anywhere, and if it wasn't for the dome, they would be reliant on the hotel's poor artificial lighting.

A loud squawk sounded from the "floor," and Lucas jerked his head around. A man was standing at the microphone, tapping it. A woman and two men were sitting to his right.

"Excuse me. Could I have everybody's attention? We need to get started here." He was about to continue when a loud bang sounded from the back of the room. Everyone swiveled around to see a man dressed in black fatigues standing at the back of the room, pointing a gun at the ceiling.

Nathan grabbed Lucas and pushed him to the floor, following him down and shielding him partially with his own body. Looking around, he saw Crocker crouched over Kristin, and Katie, Ben and Ford in a group huddled close to the floor. Over to the other side of Crocker and Kristin, he could make out Ortiz and O'Neill, similarly on the floor, staring at the intruder. Soon everyone in the room was on the floor, huddling behind the scant protection of their chairs.

Nathan felt Lucas trembling and saw his lips moving. Leaning in he tried to catch what the boy was saying.

"Oh no....please no...not again..please," Lucas whispered over and over again, his eyes glazed and unfocused. Nathan squeezed him tightly, trying to reassure him, while trying to guess what he meant by "not again"....

_ "....swat team opening fire.... body jerking with every impact as a bullet hit....dead eyes, staring at him..." _

Lucas felt his arms being squeezed, and he glanced up to see Nathan looking worriedly at him. Blinking, Lucas tried to erase the memory before it could take him over. The gunman strode forward down the aisle, heading for the stage. He was quickly joined by two other men who followed him down the aisle, talking into the headsets they wore.

Suddenly, the doors on the outer circumference of the room crashed open, and more heavily-armed, black-clad men poured in, quickly taking up strategic positions around the room. One of them stepped forward and joined the three men as they reached the "stage".

Taking a step up onto the slightly raised floor that served as the stage, the group of four walked over to where the scientists were cringing and pushed the "speaker" out of the way. The lead man stepped up.

"Hello, and welcome," he said snidely, gazing out at the crowd. "I'm sure you're all wondering what we're doing here. Just let me say that we are here for something very important, and when we get it, we'll leave. Whether you're all alive when we do is entirely up to you." He grinned evilly out at the crowd, his eyes scanning as if searching for something.

Impossibly, his eyes settled on the seaQuest crew, and then focused on Lucas. Lucas felt the Captain's grip on his arms tighten as the lead terrorist nodded at one of his men who quickly stepped off of the stage and headed over to them.

"You," he said, gesturing at Lucas. "Come here." Lucas' mouth went dry, and he had to force himself to swallow. Glancing up at the Captain, he saw him subtly shake his head. Nathan tightened his hold on Lucas, preventing the boy from getting up, even if he wanted to.

"Why?" Nathan challenged. He was trying to draw the man's attention to himself, or at the very least, get him to take him hostage instead of Lucas. The terrorist sneered and aimed his gun at Lucas.

"It doesn't matter," the man said dangerously. "Either he comes with me now, or he dies here with you. It's your choice." Nathan squeezed Lucas' arms and glanced over at Ford who looked back at him steadily, showing his support for whatever Nathan decided to do.

Lucas started shaking as he stared down up at the barrel of the gun....

_"....swat team opening fire.... body jerking with every impact as a bullet hit....dead eyes, staring at him..." _

He blinked quickly, trying to clear the image away. Now was not the time for that! Closing his eyes tightly, he stood suddenly, shaking off Nathan's hands. He opened his eyes again and looked at the gunman. The man smiled darkly, and gestured for Lucas to precede him up to the stage.

Without looking back, Lucas walked up to the stage, body trembling from anxiety and fear. He had to do this. If he didn't, he knew the others would try to do something stupid to protect him, and they would die. He couldn't let that happen....no matter what it cost him.

He stepped onto the stage, and his captor nudged him over to stand by the other scientists. The head gunman stared at him and Lucas saw something very dangerous shining in the depths of the man's eyes. He clenched his hands into fists and resolutely kept them at his sides, willing the panic to subside. The man smiled at him, a smile that never reached his eyes, and conveyed no warmth whatsoever.

"So," he began, turning away from a very surprised Lucas, and addressing the crowd. "It appears that we have a little "situation" to take care of." He paused, letting his words sink in. "You want to be free, and I...well I want to finish my job. We need each other to accomplish both our goals." The man continued to smile maliciously at the crowd, his eyes raking from side to side.

"Now, what I want to know is: who's in charge?" He paused, waiting for someone to speak up. When no one came forward, he shook his head sadly and started to walk around the stage.

"Tsk-tsk," he said, clicking his tongue, "no one wants to step forward and claim the responsibility. That's just.....too bad." Suddenly his arm shot out and grabbed Lucas.

He pulled the boy forward roughly, causing Lucas to stumble. The man snaked his other arm around Lucas' neck and squeezed tightly, almost completely cutting off his air supply. Lucas gasped, trying to draw in more air, his face slowly starting to turn purple.

His eyes widened as the man brought a handgun into view and pressed it painfully into his temple. Lucas winced and he felt his forehead start to bead with sweat from the fear shaking his body. He continued to fight for air, his gasps audible to the crowd.

Crocker grabbed Nathan, stopping him from charging up to the stage. Looking over, he saw that Katie and Ford had a tight hold on Ben, and that Ortiz and O'Neill both looked angry enough to storm the stage right then and there.

"C'mon, Cap," Crocker said softly in Nathan's ear. "It won't do Lucas any good if you manage to get yourself shot." He watched as Nathan forcefully calmed himself, doing his best to rein in his anger. Finally, the other man nodded.

"You're right, Chief. Thanks," Nathan answered, but Crocker could still feel the anger coursing through his arms, and he could see the stiff way Nathan held his body. The same anger was coursing through all of them, he knew. They waited with bated breath to see what the man would do next, feeling helpless to do anything but watch as the madman literally held Lucas' life in the balance.

"Now!" the man shouted. "I believe I asked who is in charge here!" He pressed the gun harder against Lucas' head, his finger starting to squeeze the trigger.

"Wait!" a voice called out from the front row. Slowly, a man wearing the uniform of a UEO admiral stood up.

"I'm Admiral James Larson of the UEO. I am prepared to deal with you; just let the boy go." The man holding Lucas laughed, his arm tightening even more around the boy's throat, until Lucas thought he was going to pass out.

"Oh, so you're prepared to deal with me, are you?" He laughed harshly. "Well I'm so glad." He dragged Lucas after him as he walked to the front of the stage. He stared down at the Admiral, the gun still pressed painfully against Lucas' head.

"Let the boy go, and I will hear your demands," Admiral Larson repeated, wincing when the man jerked Lucas forward causing the boy to press even more painfully into his arm. 

"Really," the man said thoughtfully, staring down at the Admiral. "Good," he finished. Suddenly, he turned around and pushed Lucas away from him, causing the boy to crash painfully to the stage. Gasping for breath, Lucas scrambled backwards, pushing himself with his heels, one hand clenching at his throat while the other one helped propel him backwards. The scientists who had been trapped on the stage when the whole "take over" started stepped forward cautiously to meet Lucas, eyeing their captors fearfully, but the leader was staring thoughtfully at the admiral. They gathered around the boy and helped him sit up in a chair, examining him closely to make sure he was okay.

He tried to pull away, embarrassed at their concern, but they continued to check him over. Looking out at the audience, Lucas met the worried eyes of Captain Bridger, and he smiled wanly, trying to reassure the older man. Bridger smiled back, nodding that he "got the message" and trying to send him courage. He turned to glare at the man on the stage as he began to speak.

"Well, Admiral James Larson of the UEO," the gunman started mockingly, "what we want is ten million dollars and transportation out of here." He smiled menacingly at Larson, who stared stoically back at him.

"And who do I say is making the demand," Larson asked with bravado. The gunman looked over at his partners, and they laughed, knowing the reaction they were about to get."

"Well Larson, feel free to tell your superiors that the Jesmans are making the demands." The man grinned at the crowd, reveling in their stunned reaction and the fear he could feel emanating from them. "I see you've heard of us."

They had definitely heard of the Jesman brothers. The brothers had been responsible for some of the most heinous terrorist acts of the past ten years. Brent Jesman, the oldest of the brothers, had been described as "pure evil" by one of the few hostages to survive. The Jesmans were not known for leaving survivors. They usually hit hard and fast, showing no mercy and not caring who got in their way.

Nathan swallowed, realizing that they were in an extremely dangerous situation --even worse than he had thought -- and Lucas was stuck right in the middle of it. He looked over as Admiral Larson started to speak again, decidedly more subdued.

"Very well, Jesman, but they are going to need time to get that kind of money together," Larson explained. Jesman laughed, handing the Admiral a phone.

"By all means," he said, "we're not going _anywhere_." Jesman smiled darkly as Larson started to dial the phone. 

"Oh, and Admiral ..." 

Larson looked up. 

"Don't try anything funny. We _are_ listening in." Larson nodded back up at him slowly, clearly not happy with the terrorist's last statement.

Everyone in the auditorium listened intently as Larson contacted UEO headquarters and explained the situation. He nodded a few times, as if the person on the other end could see him, then looked up at Jesman.

"They want to speak to you," Larson said, handing the phone up to the man. Jesman grinned back at his three brothers and nodded. They had expected this from the start, and they all knew what to do. 

"Well, hello there," Jesman said glibly into the phone. He rolled his eyes back at his brothers and made a "yakking" sign with his hand as he listened. He smiled evilly as UEO headquarters explained that they did not deal with terrorists.

"_Oh_, you don't deal with terrorists do you." He nodded at his brothers who immediately stepped forward and pushed the group of scientists and Lucas into a straight line. "Well, if you will kindly turn to a secure channel on your vid screen, we have arranged a little demonstration for you." Jesman nodded at one of his brothers, who pulled one of the scientists, Dr. Michelle Daniels, toward the front of the stage.

Jesman looked over as one of his henchmen turned on the large vid screen set up at the front of the stage. It flared to life, and the crowd could see a group of people staring intently out at them. Nathan and the seaQuest crew recognized Admiral Noyce amongst the group. 

"Now gentlemen," Jesman said like a circus ringmaster, waving his arms around in the air, "you see we have this lovely woman standing before you. She has _graciously_ volunteered for our "little demonstration," which I personally really appreciate." He smiled and spun around suddenly, shooting his gun. A loud bang sounded, and Dr. Daniels slumped to the floor, a pool of blood collecting around her head where the bullet had lodged.

Lucas stared at the body in shock, his body starting to tremble unnoticed. He wanted to look away, wanted to shut his eyes and pretend like none of it had happened, but the details were already etched in his memory.

The blond hair of the victim had turned a bright crimson as the blood from her wound slowly stained it. Half of her face had been blown away by the gun's close range and Lucas could see inside her head. He felt the bile start to rise in his throat and he didn't know how much longer be would be able to contain it. He found himself staring unavoidably at her remaining eye, staring blanky at him from it's socket...

_"....swat team opening fire.... body jerking with every impact as a bullet hit....dead eyes, staring at him..." _

The crowd gasped, and Jesman laughed.

"You see gentlemen," he explained. "We will execute one of these hostages," he gestured at the group on the stage, "at the rate of one an hour until our demands are met. I wouldn't delay. You know we are quite capable of it." Jesman's eyes raked across his "select" group of hostages, finally pausing on where Lucas was still half slumped in the chair, his wide blue eyes staring at the body on the floor.

And I do mean _everyone_ gentlemen. I don't care about age." He grinned darkly and signaled for the connection to be cut off. Jesman looked out at the crowd. "The clock is ticking!" His voice rang out into the stillness, and Crocker had to tighten his hold on Nathan to keep him from running up to the stage. He looked over and saw a similar drama unfolding between Krieg, Katie, and Ford.

The situation had just gone from bad to worse.

* * *

Lucas sat in the same chair he had been sitting in for the last hour and a half, staring at the bodies on the floor. Jesman had executed another hostage a half hour earlier when the UEO had failed to meet his demands. He had made it a point to show the UEO the execution, calling it "another display of our commitment in reaching our goals." The UEO and Admiral Larson had repeatedly begged for a reprieve, but Jesman had been adamant about his "process," and no one could persuade him otherwise. It was clear that the man enjoyed his murderous ritual.

Jesman strutted around the stage, making sure to keep his gun in everyone's sight lest they forget who was in charge. Lucas stared at the weapon, the sunlight from the dome gleaming on its dull surface. The light caught the edge of the gun, accenting its blunt tip; the dark hole from which the bullet came out looming larger and larger every time Lucas looked at it. If this kept up any longer, he thought it would grow to the size of a black hole, [sucking in everything and leaving a trail of devastation in its wake.

_"....swat team opening fire.... body jerking with every impact as a bullet hit....dead eyes, staring at him..." _

Lucas blinked, clearing his head of the images, knowing he needed to focus right now if he wanted to survive this. His attention returned to the gun.

The hand clutching the gun caressed it lightly, enjoying the feel of it, enjoying the surge of power it gave him. No one had ever managed to stand up to him when he held it, at least not for very long. All the taunting and teasing he had had to endure when he was a kid, all the hurtful words, all the biting comments from his classmates went away when he held his gun. Brent Jesman had never known true power as a child, and he had grown up into a bitter, hateful man, taking what he wanted and feeling no sorrow for the people he hurt.

This conference was no big deal to him. It felt like he and his brothers had pulled a thousand jobs like this. It didn't make a difference to him that one of his hostages was only fifteen years old. Lucas was just another pawn to use for Jesman's convenience.

"A very useful pawn," he thought, staring thoughtfully at Lucas, who was slowly going pale at Jesman's close scrutiny. Nathan's reaction from the crowd hadn't escaped Jesman's notice. He had seen the look of fury and terror that had crossed the man's face when he had grabbed the boy. Jesman had seen Crocker hold him back; he had seen Krieg being held down by Ford and Katie. Whoever the boy was, he was obviously very important to these people. 

Turning to look at the audience, Jesman closely scrutinized the seaQuest crew, studying them for weaknesses. They stared back at him hatefully, wishing that their looks alone could burn a hole right through him. Catching sight of a patch on the side of Ford's uniform, Jesman smiled suddenly, realizing who these people were. The crew of the UEO flagship, the most powerful vessel in Naval history, and what was rumored to be one of the best crews. And he, Brent Jesman, had them in a corner.

Jesman turned to face Lucas once again, and the boy gulped when the terrorist walked over and sat beside him. Placing his hand on the boy's knee, Jesman watched for the crew's reaction out of the corner of his eye. He wasn't disappointed.

He saw Crocker grab Bridger's arm to keep him in his seat, while Ford and Katie had to engage in similar maneuvers on Ben. Jesman saw Ortiz glare blackly at him, the Cuban's dark eyes flashing angrily. O'Neill shifted in his seat, very wary for whatever move the terrorist was going to try next. Kristin sat next to Nathan, helping Crocker keep him settled, her eyes turned worriedly toward the stage The crew sat intently watching the stage, searching for any way they could help Lucas.

Jesman patted Lucas' knee companionably and had to bite back a smile when the boy tried to shift out of his way. 

"Enjoying our little "show"?" Jesman asked quietly. Lucas stared back at him, not knowing what to say, or even if he should answer the crazed man. Jesman grinned, knowing what the boy was thinking. The terrorist was insane, but he had been doing this long enough to be able to read "his" hostages. 

"I suppose you want to know when you'll be getting out of here?" Lucas continued to stare at him, terror shining brightly out of his wide blue eyes. "Well?" Jesman asked again, growing impatient. Lucas froze, seeing the glint of anger buried in the madman's gaze. He didn't know what to do. Anything he did could result in one of the other hostages getting hurt. Lucas wasn't so much concerned for himself, but the didn't think he could stand it if he was responsible for someone else's death.

Jesman suddenly lunged forward, grabbing Lucas painfully by the back of his neck and hauling him out of the chair. He dragged the boy to the side of the stage and behind one of the curtains, catching the struggle from within the seaQuest crew from the corner of his eye.

He threw the boy to the floor and stood quietly, looming over Lucas. Wide blue eyes stared up at him, terrified, while their owner tried to scramble away from him. But there was nowhere to go. Jesman lashed out, his foot swinging into the air and connecting with the boy's stomach. 

Lucas rolled into the fetal position, clutching his stomach and biting his lip to keep from crying out. He didn't want the crew to know what was happening, at least until they had to. He clenched his teeth against the nausea that threatened to overtake him, not willing to give this hateful man any satisfaction in causing him pain. 

Jesman bent down, his mouth directly over Lucas' ear. The boy flinched when the man's rank breath reached his nostrils.

"Listen here, you little brat," Jesman said ferociously, his eyes narrowing into slits. "When I talk, you will answer me. I don't care if you do have "important" friends. I will not be ignored!" He yanked Lucas to his feet, and Lucas retched, his stomach twisting painfully. Jesman smashed his fist into Lucas' face, and blood, bright red, spurted from his nose. Lucas covered his nose with his hand, swaying on his feet. With everything he could, the boy fought the urge to black out from the pain, determined that Jesman was not going to get him this way. No matter what, Lucas still needed to feel some semblance of control in a chaotic situation.

Pulling the boy after him, Jesman calmly walked back onto the stage, letting everyone get a full view of Lucas' condition. A strangled yell came from the seaQuest crew's direction, and Jesman looked over to see Katie holding her hand over Ben's mouth. He saw Crocker and Kristin holding down a struggling Nathan as the man tried to break away, an almost murderous glint in his eye. Having succeeded in his objective to rile the seaQuest crew, Jesman let Lucas go, watching as the boy struggled to walk to his chair upright. 

Lucas sank into his chair gratefully, the pain in his stomach and face threatening to take him over. He attempted to smile reassuringly at his friends, but the best he could do was a weak grimace. Clutching his stomach with one hand, Lucas leaned back and closed his eyes, concentrating on staying conscious. 

He opened his eyes as he felt a cloth touch his face, and met the kind gaze of one of the other remaining hostages. She smiled kindly at him and went back to lightly trying to wipe the smeared blood from his face. He thought about pulling away, but the pain was too great and he was too exhausted to put in the effort.

"I'm Dr. Martins by the way," she said as she finished getting as much of the blood off as she could. He smiled gratefully at her, and she was immediately stunned with how innocent he could look without the perpetual wariness coloring his face. A new wave of hatred flowed through her as she thought of how Jesman had hurt the boy. 

"Lucas, Lucas Wolenczak," Lucas said weakly, trying to sit up straight. At the look of pain crossing his face, Martin's put her hand on his shoulder, keeping him where he was.

"It's all right Lucas. Just stay where you are," she said, smiling gently at him. Suddenly a hand roughly grabbed her shoulder and hauled her up. She turned to look into the angry eyes of one of Jesman's brothers.

"Get back where you were," he said angrily, pushing her along. She attempted to smile reassuringly at Lucas and let herself be led away. It would not pay to anger these people. Not one bit.

* * *

"Well gentlemen," Jesman said into the vid screen, "have you reached a decision yet?" He looked haughtily at the UEO officials, knowing he had them over a barrel and there was nothing they could do about it.

"We need more time!" one of them said desperately. Noyce looked out over the crowd, his eyes searching out Nathan and the crew. Taking in their disheveled appearance and the looks of absolute fury on their faces, he wondered what had happened...until he saw Lucas.

The boy was slumped in one of the chairs, the blood Martins hadn't been able to wipe off dried crustily to his face. His hand was resting lightly on his stomach, and he tensed up every time one of the terrorists got anywhere near him. It didn't take a genius to figure out something bad had happened. Noyce turned and glared hatefully at Jesman. The man was more of a monster than he had thought.

Jesman shook his head with mock sadness, gesturing behind his back at one of his brothers. The other terrorist looked over the remaining hostages, his eyes finally settling on Martins, who had chosen to defy him by helping Lucas. Grinning wickedly, the man grabbed her and pulled her over to Jesman, holding her firmly in place when she tried to get away.

"Now gentlemen," he began sadly, "you know what I have to do." Slowly, Jesman turned, oblivious to the outraged cries ringing out around him. Martins glared at him defiantly, determined not to show this monster fear, even though she knew what was coming. He raised his gun and sighted down the barrel, drawing out the moment for as long as he could, loving the feeling of power he had.

Lucas looked on, not wanting to see, but somehow not able to tear his eyes away from the horrible spectacle in front of him. He watched as Jesman slowly began to squeeze the trigger, letting the chamber cock back a centimeter at a time. Martins refused to look away, her fiery spirit giving her the courage she needed to hold her ground. A loud bang filled the air, and Martins flew back, landing in a heap with her hair already beginning to soak with her blood. Lucas clamped his eyes closed, not wanting to see, but he couldn't do that to her. 

He forced his eyes open, taking in her lifeless eyes. Eyes that had, just moments before stared into his with such warmth and compassion.

_"....swat team opening fire.... body jerking with every impact as a bullet hit....dead eyes, staring at him..." _

Lucas was brought rushing back to reality by a stinging slap across his face. He looked up into the burning eyes of Brent Jesman.

"I thought we discussed this," Jesman said menacingly, his hand rearing back to strike again. Lucas pulled back and succeeded in falling off the chair, landing painfully on his back. He gasped as he saw Jesman loom aver him, a look of fury taking over the man's face. 

Flinching, Lucas looked away, bringing his hand up to try to protect his face. His eyes came to rest on one of the doors across the way and he was startled to see someone staring in on them. The man on the other side of the glass caught his look and spoke hurriedly into a headset. He glanced back up at Lucas and held up his hand displaying all of his fingers.

Lucas knew what that meant. They were going to try and make their move in five minutes and since Lucas was the only one who could see them, they were warning him. Now, if he could only figure out how to warn the others.

He winced and cried out, taken by surprise when Jesman kicked his side. He looked up to see the terrorist standing over him, a look of utter madness creasing the man's face. Lucas started to sweat as the fear he had been trying so hard to control started to break through.

"Never ignore me, boy," Jesman said. He stared thoughtfully at Lucas with an intense look that made the boy distinctly nervous. Suddenly lunging down, Jesman grabbed him by the shirt and hauled him up, shoving him at his brothers. They caught him and stood him up, knowing what their brother was planning to do.

"I have had enough of you, boy. It's time our friends at UEO headquarters got another demonstration. He had them brought back up on the screen.

"I have had enough!" he barked loudly, holding his gun up. "either deliver the money now, or he dies!" Jesman pointed the gun at Lucas, staring down the barrel and into the boy's terrified eyes -- eyes that silently pleaded with him not to shoot, to let him live. Jesman ignored the plea and started to squeeze the trigger.

An agonized cry rang out from the crowd as Nathan finally managed to pull away from Kristin and Crocker. He raced for the stage, not knowing what he was going to do, knowing only that he had to do something. Suddenly, everything exploded at once. 

The seaQuest crew erupted from their seats, following Bridger as they tried to stop what they knew was coming. Glass erupted from above the crowd's heads as men dressed in swat uniforms swung down on strong ropes. Other men burst through the guarded doors, taking out the terrorists quickly. Bullets flew from both sides as each team tried to stop the other one. Members of the swat team raced for the stage, seeing the drama unfolding there.

Nathan reached the stage quickly, oblivious to everything going on around him, his only thought being to reach Lucas in time. Jesman saw him coming and aimed his gun at the other man, determined to win this battle. Lucas saw Jesman turn the gun on the Captain, and everything suddenly turned into slow motion.

He saw Nathan jump up onto the stage, followed closely by the rest of the crew. He saw Jesman start to pull the trigger, aiming right for Nathan's chest. He saw the swat team battling it out with the terrorists, and he saw people in the crowd hit the floor, trying to stay out of the way. He saw Jesman's arm jerk as he fired the gun, and that's when everything snapped back into real time.

Diving over, Lucas pushed Nathan out of the way, putting his body into the path of the bullet. He felt a burning in his side as the bullet ripped through him, exiting out of his front. He fell forward onto Nathan, pushing them both to the ground, blood already starting to soak into their clothes. 

Nathan landed on his back, Lucas on top of him, blood flowing from the gaping wound in the boy's side. Nathan looked up and saw Jesman fly back as bullets from the swat team cut him down...moments too late. Nathan sat up hurriedly and cradled Lucas' head in his lap, biting back tears as the boy looked up at him almost in confusion. Kristin crowded up next to them, doing what she could to stop the bleeding. By that time, the bullets had stopped flying, most of the terrorist team struck down. She called frantically for a medic, knowing they didn't have much time...if they had any at all.

"Why, Lucas?" Nathan asked tearfully. Lucas gazed back up at him steadily, his lips moving but no sound coming out. Leaning down, Nathan put his ear close to the boy's mouth, trying to make out what he was saying.

"I...I couldn't...let it happen. I," he coughed, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth, "I ...couldn't let someone...someone else..die." He looked up pleadingly at Nathan. "Please don't be...mad," he squeezed out. Suddenly, his eyes rolled back into head and he went limp in Nathan's arms. The medics rushed up to them then and began to work frantically on the boy, doing their best to keep him alive.

* * *

The seaQuest crew were sitting anxiously in a hospital waiting room, staring at nothing as they had been for the past six hours. Nathan had traded his blood soaked uniform for a hospital scrubs and he absently tugged at them as he sat next to Kristin. Lucas had been in surgery for almost six hours, and Nathan hadn't liked the look on the surgeon's face when they had wheeled the boy in.

He jumped to his feet when the surgeon in question walked tiredly in, holding up his hands when the crew surged around him, firing questions right and left.

"Doctor," Kristin said loudly, managing to make herself heard over all the noise. "How is Lucas. Will he be all right?" she asked worriedly. The crew waited with bated breath to see what the doctor would say.

"To be honest," he began, running his hands through his hair, "I'm not sure. The bullet managed to miss most of his vital organs, although it did come dangerously close to his liver, and it did do some other damage. I think he is out of the woods, but I want to be sure before I clear him." Kristin nodded, opening her mouth to continue interrogating the doctor, but Nathan broke in.

"When can we see him?" he asked hurriedly, wanting to see with his own eyes that Lucas really was okay. The words "I couldn't let someone else die" kept running through his mind, and he wondered what the boy had been referring to. Nothing in the boy's file even mentioned anything remotely like this, and it bothered him to know that there was something else he didn't know about the teen. Bridger thought it might be linked to what had made Lucas so moody the last few weeks.

"I can take one of you in to see him now, but the others will have to wait out here," he explained. 

"Sir," Ben said, hesitantly stepping forward. Nathan stopped and turned around, facing the younger man. He nodded, understanding what Ben was trying to say.

"Don't worry, Lieutenant," Nathan said. "I'll come if there's any change." Ben nodded and stepped back by Katie, smiling gratefully at her as she squeezed his arm.

"He's in the ICU, room 4," the doctor said. Nathan nodded and hurried away, hearing Kristin restart her interrogation of the doctor.

* * *

Stepping quietly through the entrance to room 4, Nathan stopped suddenly and caught his breath. Lucas lay in the bed, looking smaller than Nathan had ever thought possible, his skin deathly pale against the starched white sheets of the bed. An IV was attached to his arm, the clear substance slowly dripping into his veins veins, and an oxygen cannula hissing softly under his nose. Nathan was grateful to see that Lucas wasn't dependent on the oxygen, just being...helped by it.

Hesitantly, he continued to walk into the room, until he came to a chair by the bed and sat down softly, his scrubs rustling around him. Gently, he reached over and picked up the boy's hand, squeezing it tightly between his own. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the tears to stay inside. He didn't want to cry right now. He needed to be strong. It wouldn't serve any purpose if he broke down, and he didn't want to scare Lucas if the boy woke up and saw him crying.

No matter how hard he tried to fight them though, the tears still came. Slowly, they ran down his face as Nathan remembered the look on Lucas' face just before he had passed out. The boy had looked almost...peaceful. He looked serene in a weird kind of way, like he was content to die like that. The tears started to fall harder as he remembered the weight of Lucas in his arms right after the boy had leaped in front of him...taking the bullet for him.

"God, Lucas," he whispered softly, reaching up to gently brush back the boy's hair from his forehead. "Why?" But he knew why. It was who Lucas was. 

The boy was incredibly loyal, and the one thing he couldn't stand was to see his friends get hurt, not if he could stop it. Nathan also knew that Lucas didn't really hold himself in high regard (as much as it pained the older man to admit it) and that he tended to think that other people mattered more than he did. The boy could be unselfish to a fault , and Nathan wished that for once Lucas had resisted his natural need to protect his loved ones. Deep inside, Nathan knew that if Lucas had resisted and he had been shot, the boy would never have been able to forgive himself. But the older man was in too much pain to listen to his inner voice at the moment.

And then there was the guilt pouring in on him. Lucas was his responsibility, damnit! He was supposed to protect Lucas, not the other way around. It just wasn't right.

Quietly, Nathan sat there, the tears slowly running down his face, his hands tightly holding one of Lucas'. He sat like that for a long time, unable to stop his grief for what had almost happened. Finally, completely exhausted by the day's events, Nathan fell asleep, one hand still holding Lucas', and his head resting on the bed next to the boy.

* * *

Nathan awoke abruptly hours later, jerking himself from a nightmare in which he was reliving the shooting. He blinked, trying to clear the image of Lucas flying forward and the blood soaking through the boy's clothes. Looking out the windows, he noticed the sky had darkened considerably, signaling that night had fallen.

Sighing, Nathan stretched his aching muscles, moving his head from side to side to work out the kinks. His gaze landed on the still sleeping form of Lucas and he sighed again. He just looked so damn small! And the heart monitor beeping softly into the room wasn't doing a lot to ease the man's already rattled nerves. Nathan was extremely grateful for the message behind the beeping. It meant that Lucas was still alive, still fighting, but did the people who designed the monitor have to pick such an annoying sound?

He glanced up when the doctor he had met earlier walked quietly into the room.

"Oh," the doctor said, looking at Nathan, startled. "I didn't realize you were awake." Nathan tried to smile at him, but all he could muster was a weak grin.

"It's all right. How is he?" Nathan asked, gesturing to Lucas. The doctor smiled at him reassuringly.

"His vitals have stabilized. I'm pretty sure he'll be just fine. It was touch and go there for a while." Nathan smiled in relief, as the rock on his chest rolled off. He felt able to breathe again, for the first time since the door at the back of the auditorium burst open and Jesman walked in.

"Thank you Dr.-" Nathan broke off, realizing he didn't even know the doctor's name.

"Ericson," the doctor supplied kindly. Nathan smiled at him gratefully.

"Thank you, Dr. Ericson," he finished, trying to express all the gratitude he felt in his words. Looking up into Ericson's eyes, Nathan realized it wasn't necessary. The man already knew. 

"You know, he's probably not going to wake up until late tomorrow morning," Ericson began. "Why don't you go down and get something to eat?" Nathan started to protest, but Ericson held up his hand, effectively silencing him. "I think your crew may be getting anxious to hear from you. I've tried to reassure them, but sometimes it's more convincing to hear it from a friend." Nathan gazed at the doctor, reading him.

The man was very good. He knew just how to play on Nathan's guilt enough to get him to leave -- at least for a little while. Nathan fully intended to return to Lucas' bedside after seeing the crew.

"All right," Nathan acquiesced, standing up, "but you'll call me if there's any change?" At Ericson's nod, Nathan stood up and walked slowly out of the room, stretching his arms behind him. The hospital chairs were not exactly comfortable.

* * *

Nathan walked into the cafeteria, scanning the nearly empty room for his crew. Spotting them at a corner table, he slowly made his way over to them, winding his way between tables and dropping tiredly into a chair. He looked over as Kristin rubbed his arm comfortingly. She had had a long conversation with Dr. Ericson about Lucas' condition, and while she felt better about it, she thought she would feel a lot better if she could hear of his condition straight from Nathan.

"Captain," Ben said, staring intently at the man. When Nathan looked over at him, Ben continued. "How is Lucas, sir? I mean, how did he-" Nathan cut him off before the man could get anymore wound up. 

"Dr. Ericson says that he'll be just fine," Nathan started. "He looks okay to me, although I know I'm going to feel a lot better when we can take him back to the boat." Nathan chuckled softly, the underlying relief in his tone doing more to ease the crew than any of Dr. Ericson's reassuring words. Kristin smiled again, feeling much better, and asked Nathan if he would like something to eat. Nathan was about to decline, but catching the "doctor mode" look on her face quickly changed his mind.

"Yes, thank you Kristin," he said swiftly. She smiled at him, knowing what had gone through his mind, and got up to get him something to eat. When she returned to the table a few minutes later, sandwich in hand, the conversation made her face darken.

"So you're saying that the Wolenczaks are refusing to come?" Nathan asked, shocked. He knew that Lucas' relationship with his parents left a lot to be desired, but their son was in the hospital with a gunshot wound for heaven's sake! What the hell were they thinking? 

"Yes," Ford answered. "I don't understand it either, sir. Dr. Westphalen tried all day to get through to Lucas' mother, and the rest of us took turns trying to reach Dr. Wolenczak, but we kept getting the runaround." Kristin sat down angrily, deliberately placing the plate in front of Nathan and giving him a look that clearly said "eat or die". The captain hurriedly took a bite to appease her.

"I finally got a hold of her a few hours ago. Or rather," she said correcting herself, "I got a hold of her secretary. She was very apologetic and assured me that Mrs. Holt would get a back to me as soon as possible." Kristin's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "After I tried to explain the situation to her, all she did was say that Mrs. Holt was aware of the situation and they would get back to me. I haven't heard from them since." The look on the doctor's face made it apparent to anybody that she was furious, and Nathan attempted to rub her arm comfortingly. He had had run-ins with both of the Wolenczaks before and was almost used to their callous attitude regarding their son, but that knowledge did not make the situation easier to swallow.

"And what about Dr. Wolenczak?" Nathan asked, dreading the answer. Ford looked at the others and leaned forward, sighing.

"I actually got through to him right after Dr. Westphalen reached the secretary. He didn't seem very-," Ford stopped trying to think of the correct word. "Concerned, I guess. All he did was roll his eyes and mutter something." Nathan stared at Ford for a moment, the confusion on the younger man's face very apparent.

"Did you hear what he said, Commander?" Nathan asked finally. Ford nodded.

"Yes, but...it didn't really make any sense, sir," he answered. "Dr. Wolenczak said something about "not again" and just told me to submit "the incident" in the monthly report and his lawyers would take care of the expenses," Ford looked back at Nathan, deeply troubled. "That's exactly how he put it, sir. "Put it in the report and my lawyers will handle the expenses." He didn't ask how Lucas was or anything."

Nathan glanced around, taking in the looks of anger on the crew's faces, anger he was sure was mirrored on his own face. Apparently the Wolenczaks weren't overly concerned about their son, a fact that they had made abundantly clear time and again. Nathan was beginning to wonder why he was always shocked when they acted like this. They never acted in any other way.

"What do you think he meant sir?" Katie asked. She started to clarify when Nathan looked at her in confusion. "About the "not again" comment." Nathan sighed and shook his head.

"I have no idea, but Lucas said something like it before he passed out," Nathan replied. "We'll just have to wait and see. Hopefully, Lucas can tell us what he meant. Although how I'm going to tell him his parents aren't coming...." Nathan trailed, deeply saddened for the boy. Some parents just didn't deserve their children.

Nathan pushed his chair away from the table and stood up, having finished with his sandwich.

"I'll see you later," he said, getting ready to leave. "I'm going to go back up and sit with Lucas. I don't want him to wake up alone." Kristin smiled at him understandingly.

"All right, Nathan," she began," but make sure you get some sleep. You won't do Lucas any good if you're exhausted." Nathan smiled back at her gratefully and nodded.

Walking back to Lucas' room, Nathan mind once again returned to the vague comments of "not again". What on earth was going on?

* * *

The next morning found Nathan once again sleeping in the hard hospital chair, the doctors and nurses working quietly around him so as not to disturb him. Nathan had been up almost all night mulling over all the unanswered questions he had. He'd finally dropped into an exhausted sleep early in the morning, his hand still holding Lucas'. He wanted the boy to have some contact with the "outside" world, even if it was just Nathan.

Nathan stirred and opened his eyes when he felt Lucas gently squeezing his hand back. Sitting forward abruptly, Nathan stared intently at Lucas' face which was frowning in a look of...pain.

"No," the boy whimpered softly, his hand grasping Nathan's hand tighter. Nathan reached up and brushed the hair out of Lucas' face, talking softly to the boy.

"Hey Lucas, wake up. It's okay. You're safe now." Nathan watched as Lucas' face slowly softened, losing its tense look. Slowly, the boy opened his eyes and looked around in confusion. Feeling the pressure on his hand, Lucas allowed his eyes to trail down to it and then up to the captain's worried face. Nathan tried to smile reassuringly.

"Captain?" Lucas asked softly. Nathan nodded and squeezed his hand, letting the boy know he wasn't alone. "What...what happened?" Lucas tried to shift onto his side and winced, hissing in his breath when the pain struck. Nathan gently placed his hand on the boy's shoulder and eased him down onto his back.

"Shh, Lucas," Nathan said. "We're in a hospital. You were shot, remember?" At Lucas' somewhat dazed nod, Nathan continued. "The doctor says you're going to be fine; you're just going to need a lot of rest. Lucas," Nathan said hesitantly. At the boy's inquiring gaze Nathan continued slowly. "What...I mean why did you do it? Why did you jump in front of me like that?" Lucas stared sleepily at the Captain, the drugs in his system starting to take over again and make him fall asleep. 

"Because," Lucas said softly, already more than half asleep, "I couldn't watch it...again" The deep, even breathing told Nathan that Lucas was asleep and he cursed in his mind. All the vague allusions to "again" were making him burn with curiosity. However, taking in the boy's sleeping form, Nathan knew he was going to have to wait.

The captain settled back, wincing when his back met the hard molded plastic of the chair back. They really needed to invest in some new furniture. 

* * *

Dr. Ericson walked in a few hours later, checking Lucas' chart and running his eyes over the machines surrounding the boy. He smiled reassuringly at Nathan.

"He's doing fine," Ericson said. Nathan nodded gratefully at him. "We should be able to transfer him out of the ICU tonight, although I'm going to want to keep him in the hospital for a while. By the way," the doctor said, looking around, "where are his parents? I need them to sign some papers." Nathan sighed. 

"They aren't coming." Both men jumped and turned to face the voice. "They aren't coming," Lucas repeated, looking at the ceiling. "They never come." Nathan's face darkened, but he did his best to hide his fury from the boy. The last thing Lucas needed was for Nathan to blow up, but it was a constant struggle not to voice all the anger he felt toward the boy's parents.

"Hi pal," Nathan said, squeezing Lucas' hand. Lucas just looked back at him, blue eyes blank. "How are you feeling?" Lucas shrugged and winced, the movement pulling at his injured side. Dr Ericson stepped forward and checked Lucas' IV, making sure the pain medication was still at the correct dosage.

"Hello Lucas. I'm Dr. Ericson," he said, smiling at the boy. "I'm the one who operated on you last night." Lucas nodded up at the doctor, eyes still blank. Nathan could feel the tension running through the boy. Lucas' hand was rigid under his own and Nathan could see how tightly Lucas was holding himself. The boy obviously wasn't as closed off as he was trying to be.

"Dr. Ericson says you're going to be fine, kiddo," Nathan said, trying to distract him from the subject of his parents. People rarely healed quickly if they were obsessing over something. "He says we'll be able to move you from the ICU soon." Lucas nodded, grateful for the change in subject. He didn't know what had possessed him to answer like he had about his parents. The last thing he wanted was yet more people asking him about them.

"That's right," Ericson said, catching onto Nathan's plan. "You gave us quite a scare, but I think you'll be just fine." He smiled one more time and left the small room, sensing that they needed some time alone. He went in search of the seaQuest crew, knowing one of them would probably know who could sign the papers.

* * *

Nathan looked quietly at Lucas for a few moments, wondering about the best way to approach the situation. He had a feeling that whatever had been bothering Lucas for the past few weeks was directly linked to "again", and he wanted to get the teenager to talk about it. Plus, now Lucas had this whole situation to deal with on top of everything else. If he didn't talk about something soon, Nathan thought it was very likely that the boy was going to explode from all of his pent-up emotions.

"Lucas-" Nathan began, but the boy cut him off.

"I don't want to talk about it," Lucas said abruptly. He'd seen the look in Nathan's eyes and he knew what the man wanted to talk about. Lucas had let enough slip out to make the captain fairly curious, and who knew what his parents had said. It was a part of his life that Lucas wanted to keep buried away forever. Somehow though, whenever Nathan got it into his head that Lucas needed to talk about something, the boy always ended up "confessing" his secrets. It could get very annoying.

Nathan sighed, seeing the determined look on Lucas' face. They were going to be in for a very long haul.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Nathan was still looking at Lucas and Lucas was still avoiding Nathan. When Lucas wanted to, he could be extremely stubborn and it looked like Lucas wanted to be stubborn about this. Sighing, Nathan looked away from Lucas' determined face and tried to come up with some way to break through to the boy. His mind was completely blank, and the only thing he could think of would be just to talk until Lucas decided for himself that he wanted to talk. Sometimes the only thing to do at a situation like this was to back off and let it happen naturally.

"You scared me yesterday, you know," Nathan said quietly. Lucas winced, glancing quickly at the captain before looking away again. Nathan pushed on, encouraged by the reaction. At least he knew Lucas was hearing something. 

"I don't think I've ever been so scared," Nathan went on, confronting his own emotions about yesterday. "When I saw that...man grab you like that and hold the gun to your head, I-" Nathan broke off, pausing to attempt to grab control of his emotions again. He glanced down as he felt Lucas grab his hand and squeeze it.

"Captain," Lucas said, "don't." Nathan shook his head, squeezing Lucas' hand back.

"No Lucas, I want to talk about this. It's too important to keep it inside," Nathan explained quietly. "When that man grabbed you, I wanted to charge up there and pull you from him, but I couldn't, and I felt...helpless. It's not a nice feeling, Lucas." He gazed steadily at Lucas' face as the boy tried to vocalize.

"What...what happened to Jesman?" Lucas asked smally, looking frightened at the mention of the terrorist. Nathan squeezed his hand tightly, trying to reassure him.

"Jesman and his brothers were killed," Nathan said quietly. Lucas grimaced, angry at himself for feeling relief at the news. "It's not your fault, Lucas. It just happened that way. It was nobody's fault, except for maybe Jesman's." Lucas just stared back at him, unnoticed tears welling up in his clear, blue eyes. Nathan stood up and hugged Lucas tightly, being careful not to jar the boy's side.

"It's all right, Lucas," Nathan said. He felt Lucas tense up and sighed, once again cursing the boy's parents for being too busy to make him comfortable with touch. He settled back into his chair, giving Lucas his space.

"I can't say I'm upset over his death though," Nathan continued. At Lucas' surprised look, Nathan elaborated. "I wanted to kill him myself when he attacked you," Nathan said candidly. "And when he tried to shoot you, I just...I don't know. I guess I just couldn't let it happen without trying to stop it." Nathan stopped, trying to analyze his feelings about everything. He wanted to be completely honest about what had happened, especially since it seemed to be getting through to Lucas. The boy wasn't talking, but he was looking intently at Nathan and not tuning him out anymore.

"When the shot went off, I was almost...glad that it was me and not you," Nathan said slowly, "and then I saw you, lying there, the blood covering you. Lucas, my God," Nathan broke off, tears choking his voice. "Why did you do that?" Lucas stared back at him, his own tears slowly running unnoticed down his face. He squeezed Nathan's hand.

"Sir, I couldn't watch it happen. Not again," Lucas answered painfully, fighting to keep his voice steady. Nathan stared intently at him.

"Couldn't watch what happen, Lucas?" Nathan asked. Lucas squeezed his eyes shut, more tears running down his face.

"I couldn't watch anyone else die!" he finally burst out, unable to hide it anymore. "I couldn't let this turn out like it turned out with Paul. I just...just couldn't," Lucas finished quietly, sinking back into his pillows more firmly.

"Paul?" Nathan questioned quietly. Finally, they were getting somewhere. "Paul Halvorsen," Lucas said quietly. He stared at Nathan and knew that it was time to tell somebody what had happened. He couldn't keep it inside any longer. "I was sitting in school and....

_....A cool breeze wafted through the large classroom as ten-year-old Lucas Wolenczak took his seat. The classroom was more of an auditorium, with rows of seats set in a circular pattern surrounding an open area in the middle. The affluent high school Lucas attended was trying to give the students a feeling of being in a college setting without actually exposing them to it._

Lucas looked around and once again cursed his parents for sending him here. So what if he was a "genius"? He was also ten-years-old and he didn't want to be in high school yet! All of the kids were bigger than him. Sure, he was usually one of the smallest kids in his class anyway, but here the others were all a lot bigger. And most of them made fun of the "kid genius," either out of jealousy or plain old spite. He really didn't like it here!

He looked up as the teacher entered the room and groaned. Mr. Hastings hated him -- really hated him -- and he didn't understand why. He always tried to at least be halfway respectful around the man. At the time, Lucas was too young to understand that the man was jealous of him. He was bright, gifted....and young. In Mr. Hastings' opinion, Lucas was too young to have the kind of intelligence he possessed. He disliked it when his students were smarter than he was. It bruised his rather inflated ego and made him feel almost stupid. He hated feeling that way, and that made him hate Lucas. He tried to make it as hard on Lucas as he could whenever possible.

He had other things on his mind today and he only gave Lucas a passing glass before positioning his wire-framed glasses on his distinguished face. He was a man of sixty, with silvering hair, and an air of the military around him. He'd carefully cultivated his image to instill fear into his students and he thrived on that fear. He was a very petty man and this was the only way he knew to make himself feel superior.

Lucas shrank into his seat and tried to become invisible, making notes in his notebook. Most of the stuff Mr. Hastings was teaching was stuff he'd mastered a long time ago, but he didn't see how it would help Mr. Hastings' attitude any if he told him that. He looked down at his notebook, fighting the bored fatigue that always stole over him in this class. He'd almost drifted to sleep when the door in the back of the room slammed open and a man stepped in. He raised the gun he was holding and shot a bullet into the ceiling. Everyone jumped at the sound, and a few screamed from the shock.

The man walked to the middle of the room and pointed the gun at Hastings. An insane light flashed in his green eyes as he gazed at the hateful man. His short brown hair gleamed from the overhead light and made him look pale. He couldn't have been more than eighteen. "Hey teach, remember me?" he asked snidely, cocking the gun hammer back. Hastings went white as recognition hit him. 

"P-paul Halvorson," he stammered, his mouth going completely dry. Paul smiled sardonically.

"Well, well. You do remember me. I'm glad. A man should know who his killer is before he dies." Hastings swayed slightly on his feet, but managed to keep standing.

"W-why are you doing this?" Hastings asked fearfully. He glanced around at the students, most of whom were hiding under their desks or shifting slowly, judging the distance to the door. Lucas sat in his chair, wide-eyed and completely frozen in shock. He couldn't have moved right then, not for anything. 

"Ah, teach. You mean you don't remember? How you harassed me until I flunked out. Couldn't take that I was smarter than you, could you? Could you! You had to belittle me at every turn, didn't you? Didn't you!" He gestured with his free hand to the assembled students. "How many of them are you going to harass? Huh teach? How many of them threaten your superiority?" His traveling eyes locked onto Lucas and he stared at the boy. 

Lucas looked back at him fearfully, his heart pounding so loudly he couldn't hear anything above the blood in his ears. Paul continued to stare at him, something coming into his eyes. It was something Lucas couldn't label, but it made him feel very....uneasy, and he was already scared out of his mind because of the insanity clearly glinting from Paul's eyes. Paul gestured at Lucas.

"C'mere, kid." Lucas stared at him wide-eyed, not quite believing what he was hearing. Slowly he stood up and walked down to the edge of the "stage." Paul waved him over and had him stand next to him. Hastings stared at the small boy, unable to hide his clear disdain of Lucas, even in his fear. Paul caught the look and looked at Lucas with sympathy in his eyes.

"How old are you, kid? What's your name?" he asked gently, startling Lucas with his tone. Lucas stared at him a moment before managing to find his voice.

"T-ten. Lu-Lucas," he managed to squeeze out. Paul looked at him in pity.

"Not easy, is it?" he asked. Lucas looked up at him, confused.

"Being too damn smart for your own good. Especially with people like Hastings around." He glared at Hastings before returning his attention to Lucas. "Let me guess. He's been harassing you? Trying his best to make a fool out of you, and you have no idea why do you?" Lucas found himself nodding despite his fear. He was surprised that Paul knew.

"Let me 'enlighten' you. You see, ole Hastings here, he doesn't like it when his students are smarter than him. I think we make him feel stupid-" Paul was interrupted by a loud slam from the back of the room as some students escaped into the hall. He raised his gun and started to squeeze the trigger.

"STOP!" Lucas shouted, surprising not only himself, but everyone else in the room. He looked at his outstretched hand in amazement, not believing he'd raised it to stop Paul. He looked at the gunman in fear, wondering what he would do now. To his surprise, Paul looked at him, almost amused by his action. Paul looked around at the other students and came to a decision.

"Go," he said. They looked back at him, not trusting their good luck. He shot another bullet into the ceiling. "Go!" he shouted. They ran for the door, creating a jam before pushing themselves out. Soon it was just Lucas, Paul, and Hastings in the middle of the cavernous room.

Paul pulled the chair from behind Hastings' desk and sat on it, motioning for Lucas to sit beside him on the desk. Flashing the gun at Hastings, he directed the man to sit on the floor, with his hands in his lap in plain sight. Sighing, Paul lowered his gun hand, but kept it ready to shoot in case something happened -- something he knew was bound to happen. He returned his attention to Lucas, who was sitting stiffly on the desk, his eyes darting around the room searching for any chance to escape. He jumped at the sound of Paul's voice.

"So, Hastings, what have you been doing to young Lucas here? Hmmm?" Hastings looked at the crazed gunman and swallowed hard.

"I-I don't know what you mean," the frightened older man stammered. Paul laughed sarcastically.

"Uh-huh." He redirected his attention to Lucas, looking at him almost kindly. Lucas shrank from that look, seeing the glint of insanity behind it. "What has he been doing to you?" Lucas gulped and looked across the floor at Hastings, who had gone completely white.

"Well....." Lucas stopped himself, too scared to go on. Even if they both managed to escape this, Lucas still had to live with the man. He knew anything he said in here would be returned to him a thousand fold by the petty man in charge of some of his education. School was hard enough without having more of Hastings wrath visited upon him. 

Paul saw the emotions flicker across Lucas' young face at lightning speed. He silently cursed Hastings for trying to ruin another brilliant mind in favor of his own swelled ego. He stood up abruptly, causing Lucas to rear back in surprise. Hastings didn't even have the chance to cry out before Paul pistol-whipped him.

"Never mind, kid. I know what he's capable of. All too well," he said, sitting back down, the mad glint returning full force to his eyes. "You don't like it here do you?" Paul asked with an uncanny perception. Lucas was too shocked by all that had happened to do more than nod his head. Paul sighed. "Don't let the bastards like him destroy you. They already got me. After I'm through here, I'll probably never see the light of day again." He laughed and Lucas looked at him fearfully, his brilliant mind racing to find a way out of this. Maybe....if he could keep him talking long enough for help to get here....

"Wh- why are you doing this?" He asked in a small voice, looking at his hands. Paul thought for a moment.

"I used to go here. You knew that right?" Lucas nodded his head, already having deduced that from the earlier conversations. "I was smart. I don't mean bright. I mean I was really smart. Like you." He sized the boy up. "Probably not as smart as you. I didn't get in here 'til I was twelve." He paused for a moment, lost in his memories. Lucas, looking over his shoulder, was able to see the shadows of men as they raced past the partially glassed doors. When the older boy spoke, he returned his attention to Paul, praying he hadn't noticed Lucas' momentary lack of concentration.

"Anyway, Hastings here," he said gesturing his gun hand at the man. "He didn't like me too much either. Hated the fact that I could teach my way around him. I tried to avoid him whenever I could, but I think he enjoyed hassling me too much. He began to seek me out. Calling me from my other classes. Cornering me in the hall. Always to tell me how stupid I really was. How I could never amount to anything because I wasn't smart enough. He took great pains to point this out whenever he could. 

"He was very good at it too. He was real subtle, you know?" Lucas nodded his head, knowing exactly what he meant. "I tried to report it to the principal, but all she said was that I must have misunderstood. That she'd already had a talk with Mr. Hastings about my "attitude." Apparently, good ole Hastings had also taken great pains to spread it around that I was a "trouble maker." With a rep like that, who was going to believe me? I stopped trying to tell people after a while. He backed off for a while, and I thought the worst was over......until that day in the science lab." 

At this, Paul closed his eyes and massaged the bridge of his nose with his free hand. Lucas took the opportunity to glance at the door. He saw a man dressed in black holding a powerful machine gun in his hands. A headset was perched on his head and he was talking into it, looking around the room gathering information. He noticed Lucas looking at him and gestured at him and Hastings, asking if they were all right. Lucas nodded his head slightly, checking to make sure that Paul was still drifting. The man spoke into his microphone and smiled reassuringly at Lucas before disappearing from site.

"That day," Paul said, causing Lucas to jerk his head back and look at Paul. "I'll never forget it. I was finishing some work up in the science lab when Hastings came in. He pretended to need to talk to me, and the other teacher left us alone to go check on the students in the other room. The only good thing about that day was that I was the only one in the lab. The others were finishing up some papers or something. I'd finished mine earlier and the teacher let me get a head start on the next project. 

"Hastings just sat there staring at me. Then he said something about my missing a part of the experiment. He handed me a bottle that was marked "tricolonium mesophate." He said to use it if I didn't want to end up blowing everyone up." Paul laughed again, a touch of insanity creeping into the sound. Lucas looked hesitantly at Hastings and saw the man cringing. 

"Ironic isn't it? Why I trusted him I'll never know. Maybe I just wanted to give him a show of faith so he'd leave me alone. Or maybe I just didn't want to make him angry. Whatever the reason, I added the stuff to the mixture and started to turn up the heat. I didn't even notice when he left. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in a hospital room. My mom was crying beside me and my dad was just standing there, staring at me. I didn't find out 'til later what had happened.

"Apparently, my little "experiment" had blown up the entire lab. I was lucky to be alive, not that Hastings, or the school for that matter, really cared. All of a sudden, I was expelled and my parents were being charged for the reconstruction of the science lab. 

"Sure, I tried to tell." He said to the question in Lucas' eyes. By that time, Lucas was so engrossed in the story that he had almost forgotten where he was. He glanced down at the gun in Paul's hand and gulped, the fear returning tenfold as Paul lifted it up and sighted down it at Hastings. 

"Hastings, here, he'd done a real good job spreading it around that I was a "trouble maker." No one ever did believe me, not even my parents. They never really talked to me after that. I was sent away to a boarding school. I've been there ever since." He cocked the hammer back and stood up suddenly, storming over to Hastings and shoving the gun in his face.

"I never forgot Hastings!" he shouted, losing even more touch with reality. "I never forgot. How does it feel? How does it feel to almost have everything taken away from you? Huh! How does it feel?" He started to squeeze the trigger. Lucas jumped to his feet, not even realizing he was doing it.

"No!" he shouted desperately, looking wildly at the door, hoping to see the swat man back there. No one was there. "Don't do it!" He looked at the scene in front of him: Hastings almost sobbing with fear, Paul holding the gun against his head, insanity gleaming from his eyes. Hastings was a fool. He was a jackass, and a horrible person to boot, but Lucas couldn't let someone die. Not if there was something he could do about it. Not even if it was Hastings, a man who obviously hated him for no other reason than that he was smarter than him.

"Why not?!" Paul shouted, looking at Lucas, but keeping the gun pointed at Hastings. "Why shouldn't I end his miserable life? What's he good for? All he does is cause pain!" Lucas nodded his agreement, wishing like anything he was anywhere but here. He was almost fainting with fear, but he pressed on anyway.

"You're right. He's a horrible person. That's why you can't shoot him." Paul looked at him, confused. "Don't you see?" Lucas asked desperately. "If you shoot him, he wins. He really will have ruined your life. Please don't let him win." Paul looked at the boy standing before him. 

He was small, only about four feet. His shaggy blond hair was wet with perspiration and his blue eyes were wide with fear. He was standing before Paul, in his size five tennis shoes, trying to reason with him. He was trying to talk the crazed gunman down from shooting a man who despised him. The light of reason slowly began to return to Paul's eyes.

"Put the gun down. Please." Lucas said. Paul stepped away from Hastings, his grip loosening on the gun. Just then, the doors flew open, and the windows shattered as dozens of black-clad men smashed through them. Paul tightened his grip on the gun and grabbed Lucas, spinning the boy around until he was facing the swat team. Paul held Lucas tightly to his chest, one arm firmly around his neck while the other held the gun to the boy's head.

"Get away from me!" Paul shouted, all reason leaving his eyes. The swat team pulled up short, leveling their guns at Paul. Hastings scurried to the aisle and was led out of the room by a member of the swat team. Paul didn't even see them go. He tightened his hold on Lucas. "Get away!" he screamed again, as a member of the team put his gun down and walked slowly down the aisle, keeping his hands where Paul could see them.

"Calm down, kid. I only want to talk. Why don't you put the gun down?" Paul answered by pressing the gun painfully into Lucas' temple and tightening his grip on Lucas' throat. Lucas began to gasp as his airway was cut off. The swat man saw this and began signaling his men behind his back. He stared at Paul. "C'mon kid. Let him go. He can't breathe." Paul just tightened his grip again. Lucas' face began to turn purple as the oxygen was further cut off. 

The swat man stepped forward slowly until he was only a few steps from Paul and Lucas. Paul turned so that he kept Lucas between the man and himself. He didn't see the other members of the swat team slip in behind him, taking up position. They had to do this perfectly or Lucas would die.

Dots began to swim across Lucas' vision as he began to lose consciousness from lack of oxygen. He was barely aware of what happened next. A swat member purposely made a noise behind Paul, causing him to spin around quickly. The head man dove for Lucas and managed to push him away from Paul. A split second later, the man dove after him, landing on Lucas and shielding him with his body. Paul waved his gun at the swat team, not even knowing where he was anymore. The swat team opened fire and Paul's body jerked with every impact as the bullets hit him. He fell slowly into a bloody heap, literally dead before he hit the floor.

Lucas' vision cleared and the last thing he saw before losing consciousness was Paul's dead eyes, staring at him. Then Lucas' eyes rolled back into his head and he fainted, his head smacking into the floor.

When he awoke next he was in a hospital. Unlike Paul, his parents were not waiting for him....

* * *

Lucas looked at Captain Bridger, tears swimming in his wide blue eyes and slowly running down his cheeks.

"Don't you see?" Lucas asked desperately. "I couldn't let someone else die like that!" He broke down, bringing his hands up to cover his face, the sobs wracking his body. Nathan just sat there, stunned. He had heard of that incident. Even hidden away on his island as he had been at the time, the news of that tragedy had managed to reach him.

He could remember shaking his head at the uselessness of it all and wondering what could have driven Halvorson to do it. The radio reports had mentioned something about a student being trapped in the room with Hastings and Halvorson, but they had never mentioned names and Nathan had never thought to connect the incident with Lucas. Now he understood what had been bothering Lucas for the past few weeks. 

Schraeder's takeover of the boat must have brought the memories from the incident rushing back. The loss of control on the seaQuest in such a similar manner must have been too close for the teenager to handle and he had been swamped with the memories. It explained his reactions during the Jesmans' attack as well.

His willingness to go up to the stage, his diving in front of the bullet, all went back to that one incident when he was ten. No wonder Lucas hadn't been surprised when his parents hadn't shown up. He'd never expected them to. Apparently they had written their son off a long time ago.

The sound of Lucas' sobs finally broke through to Nathan and he hurriedly stood up and leaned forward, gathering Lucas into his arms. He held him firmly, being careful of the wound in the boy's side.

"I'm sorry, Lucas," he whispered, stroking the boy's hair. "I'm so sorry. I wish I'd known." Lucas held onto him tightly, crying into his shoulder, too caught up in his memories to realize what was going on around him. Nathan just held him, whispering soothingly to him, all the while wondering how this had not been in the boy's file. He understood the right to privacy and all that, but some things he just needed to know. He was helping to raise the boy for heaven's sake!

There was no doubt in his mind now that when the Wolenczaks had sent Lucas to seaQuest, they had meant it to be permanent. No wonder Lucas could be so standoffish at times. With parents like that, who wouldn't be? Somehow, they would figure out a way to make things better. They had to.

* * *

Lucas lay in the bed, the covers pulled up to just under his chin and the captain still holding his hand. He glanced to the side, seeing the moonlight shining through the half closed blinds. It was very late, and after revealing what he had to the Captain, Lucas had fallen asleep, too exhausted to stay awake. The last thing he remembered was Bridger telling him it was going to be all right.

Bridger's head lay on the bed, his eyes shut and a faint snore emanating from his lips. Lucas was glad that the older man had fallen asleep; he had looked exhausted. Lucas squeezed his hand softly, reassuring himself that the captain was still there with him.

He lay his head back, closing his eyes to see if he could try to get to sleep, but the images kept coming to the boy's tired mind. The earlier ones: Paul looking at him intently, followed by the swat man as he had dived for Lucas, and finishing off with Paul's dead eyes staring at him. Then came the images of Schraeder: when the lead gunman had dragged Lucas from his room, when Schraeder had tried to get Lucas to tell him the truth on the bridge, and then his last glance at the corrupt man as Ben snuck him from the launch bay. Finally, the latest images came: Jesman slamming through the doors, his body looming over Lucas as the madman beat the boy, Jesman's crazed, hate filled eyes as he aimed the gun at Lucas, and then the blood coming from his side, soaking through his clothes as Lucas lay in the Captain's arms.

Abruptly the boy snapped his eyes open, trying to escape all of the violent memories. He sighed, knowing sleep wasn't going to come anytime soon. His gaze traveled around the room until it finally rested on Nathan.

He didn't know what to make of the Captain knowing about Paul. Lucas had been guarding that part of his past for so long that he wasn't sure how he felt about someone else knowing about it. In a way he was glad that he had told the captain. The burden of keeping it all inside had been overwhelming, and many nights he had lain awake, shaking from the nightmares it caused.

The other part of him was scared. Now that the Captain knew about this, what would he do? Would he use the knowledge to help Lucas...or to hurt him? His parents had used it to hurt him. The constant snide remarks about being too stupid to leave when the first students had run, and the constant reminders that because of Lucas, somebody was now dead. 

Very deep down inside of him, in the farthest part of his heart, a place he never went to, Lucas knew that Paul's death hadn't been his fault. He had been trying to talk the older boy out of making an even bigger mistake than he had already made. Lucas had been protecting Hastings, a man who thoroughly hated him, out of the goodness that was inside of him, and it all might have turned out okay if the swat team hadn't chosen that moment to rush in.

None of that mattered to Lucas' parents. They had unreasonably seen the whole situation as an embarrassment and an inconvenience. The interruptions at work had been one thing, but the media attention after the situation went down had been unbearable. They had both fought long and hard to keep Lucas' name out of the media. It was not because they wanted to protect him, but because they saw it as an embarrassment that their son had been involved in the situation, albeit unwillingly. They had been unreasonable about the whole thing, and their behavior had clearly left its mark on Lucas. He knew he couldn't trust them, and that hurt.

He had been very surprised to wake up in the hospital and find Bridger sitting with him. Not knowing if he was going to survive at all, the last thing Lucas expected was to have someone waiting for him. No one had ever bothered before. It was another thing Lucas wasn't sure about how he felt.

Having someone, especially an adult, to count on was new to him. Sure, the crew had shown time and again that they could be counted on, but Lucas was still too leery to completely trust anyone. It usually just led to more heartache, and he didn't know if he could take it coming from the crew, from people he almost trusted.

Lucas reached up and felt something warm running down his face. Tears. He bit his lip, willing them to dry up. He felt stupid and weak for letting all of it get to him. It didn't matter that he had just gone through something very traumatic. It didn't matter that some of the adults who had been trapped in the auditorium, ones that hadn't even been near the stage, were almost having breakdowns over it. None of this mattered to Lucas; he still saw himself as small and weak for not living up to what he felt his parents expected of him -- the brave little soldier who was expected to never show his true emotions, the unwanted child who was supposed to be seen at the right occasions, but never heard.

He lay in bed crying for a long time. Crying for what he had gone through, for what his parents had put him through. For Nathan and the crew for being worried, and even for Paul from all those years ago. Finally, Lucas cried for himself, letting go of some of the hurt inside of him. He cried until he was too worn out to cry anymore, and then he slept.

* * *

The crew stood waiting anxiously at the front desk. A week had gone by since "the incident" and Lucas was finally being discharged. They were all very anxious to get him back home where he belonged and where he was safe.

A beep sounded, indicating that the elevator had reached the ground floor. The crew looked up as Nathan wheeled Lucas out of the elevator, followed closely by Dr. Ericson. The boy was protesting loudly over having to be in a wheelchair, but Nathan and Ericson were firm about it. Lucas wasn't getting out of it until the transport to the docks showed up to drive them to the launch.

Nathan wheeled the still grumbling boy over to the crew and turned to shake Ericson's hand. Ben stooped down until he was on eye level with Lucas and grinned mischievously.

"Hey kid, ready to go home?" Lucas looked at him in classic fashion, eyebrow raised. Ben held up his hand and laughed. "Whoa, just asking." He leaned over to whisper in Lucas' ear, and the members of the crew saw the boy's eyes light up and a grin erupt across his face. Kristin looked at the scene doubtfully, wondering if she should interrupt. Anything Krieg was involved in couldn't be good. But seeing the look on Lucas' face, she refrained. It had been a while since she had seen that particular look on his face, and she was content to let it slide...for now. However, she and Krieg were going to have a little talk.

Ben stood up, startled, when Nathan walked up to them and grasped the back of Lucas' chair. Lucas tilted his head back until he was looking at Nathan upside down. The older man smiled at him.

"Well, Lucas," Nathan started, "ready to go home?" Lucas smiled back up at him.

"Yes, sir," he replied shifting in the chair. He winced slightly, his side aching from the movement. The doctors had said that he would be sore for quite a while and had recommended he take it easy. He had seen the look in Dr. Westphalen's eyes when that was uttered and there was no doubt in his mind that he was in for a prolonged period of bed rest once they reached the ship.

Nathan squeezed his shoulder and started to push him toward the front doors, the crew walking beside them all trying to talk to Lucas at once. Craning his neck, Lucas could make out the large crowd waiting outside, cameras and microphones poised at the ready. He tensed, flashing back on the last time he had been through this. He felt Nathan squeeze his shoulder again, and he saw the determined looks crossing the faces of the crew as they neared the doors. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad this time.

Seeing Ben and Ford nod at each other and then exchange glances with the others, Lucas began to think it could actually be pretty good, at least for him. He didn't envy the reporters. 

The End

* * *

I really tried not to have the flashback scene anything like the recent school shootings that have been happening. If I offended anybody I didn't mean to. :)

Insert usual beg/plea for feedback here -g-


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